MY LIFE BEFORE MS

I will say from the outset, my life was what most people would term as normal, nothing spectacular and sometimes even boring……, often very predictable.

Soon after my 40th birthday, I went through a marriage breakdown.  It had been on the cards for several months, if not longer.  Along with this came all the usual bitterness, arguments and tears that most families face during these times.

Eventually, things started to settle down emotionally; however, the next big thing was selling the family home, and moving into the rental market.  So I found myself, and my 3 teenaged children, moving into a house that we couldn’t really call ours! My eldest child, Jason, was living away from home with his girlfriend, Kali.  Robert, Megan, Andrew and I, managed to settle into the house reasonably well, and life went on. 

I didn’t want to stay on the Sole Parents Benefit for the rest of my life, so I started job hunting.  This was rather daunting, as Id been a ‘stay at home Mum’ for 20 odd years!  I soon realized I didn’t have any real skills or qualifications for most jobs, and my self esteem started to plummet.  Luckily, the place that a friend was working, was looking for some extra ‘on-call’ casuals, and suggested I give them a call.  An interview was organised, and I managed to get the job!

After an initial ‘trial’ period, I began working several shifts per fortnight.

I was beginning to real enjoy the work and wanted to learn more.  I found out that I could do a part-time course to gain a Certificate IV, so I applied to do the course – 2 nights a week for 2 years.  I was really surprised to get into the course – I thought I would be too old and inexperienced to be accepted. The job and course I was doing involved working with intellectually disabled adults.

I soon went from a casual worker, to working part-time, and near the end of my course I started full-time work.  I truly loved this work, although at times it was very frustrating, emotionally and physically draining, it also had many times of great satisfaction and achievement.  I had a good working relationship with staff, and seemed to have a good understanding and rapport with the Clients who were part of our service.

I was also very involved with our local Little Athletics Centre.  Over the years, while my kids were competing, I had been on several committees, and now the kids had out-grown Little Aths, I was still involved with the Committees.  I loved seeing the faces on the kids when they achieved a medal etc.

While all this was happening, I entered into a personal relationship with a new man in my life.  Dave was several years younger than me; in fact he was 16 years younger!  A lot of my low self esteem and self doubts started showing again.  I couldn’t believe that a younger man would have any interest in me – hey, Im not a super model! Roughly speaking, middle aged, overweight, all the stretch marks etc of having 4 children, and lots of baggage from a failed marriage! Why would anyone want me!!! Anyway, Dave stayed with me, and supported me around the home while I worked.  Our relationship became very strong, and very gradually he helped me believe in myself, and my own self-worth. This was no easy task, plus he tried building good relationships with my children – not easy for anyone to achieve when dealing with teenagers!  Dave decided he wanted to study and get his Diploma in Network Engineering (IT). So he enrolled and started his 2 year fulltime course.

At this point, life looked pretty good, not flash, not wealthy, but we were coasting along nicely.  My divorce was finalised, we had plans for the future, I was enjoying my work, Dave was enjoying his course, and the kids seemed to be coasting along OK too.